December 26

Post-Christmas letdown. Yuck

December 25

Christmas. The Christ candle is lit.

Now we light our last candle to remember the birth of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. As the prophets promised so long ago, you have come to us once again; and with the shepherds, we are filled with wonder and amazement.

Songs for the day: Silent Night and O Come All Ye Faithful

December 24

Merry Christmas Eve to one and all.

I just have to vent. I am annoyed. Due to aging parents who don't drive much any more we are rearranging our Christmas traditions to accommodate their needs. I do not - repeat DO NOT- mind this in the least. After all, who knows how many more Christmases we will have with them.

What is annoying, though, is the sister who needs a ride yet refuses to call either of the people who can actually provide that ride to make any kind of plans. Believe you me, if we arrive tomorrow without her, though, Dad will be PISSED and somehow it will all be my fault.

Sometimes I hate being the oldest.

December 20

Today is the fourth Sunday in Advent; the Angel's candle is lit.

The Angel's candle reminds us of the heavenly hosts that proclaimed Christ's arrival with 'Behold, I bring unto you good tiding of great joy!" The Angel Candle is also purple, reminding us that it was a King's birth the angels were announcing.

Song for the day: Angels We Have Heard On High

(Many protestant churches have changed the color from purple to blue, reserving purple for Lent. I tend to be rather traditional so I still use purple candles.)

December 13 (again)

You know those commercials for anti-depressants? Yeah, that's me. I have so much I should be doing: finish Christmas decorating; bake; wrap Christmas gifts; call my Dad. I just can't seem to get out of this chair to do anything.

I just want to cancel it this year.

The earlier Dec 13 entry was an auto-post that I wrote a month or so ago.

December 13

Today is the third Sunday in Advent; the Shepherds' candle is lit.

The shepherds' candle reminds us that God sent the angels to proclaim His arrival to common man and that He still uses ordinary people today to spread the good news of Christ. This candle is pink or rose and represents God's love and faithfulness.

Song for the day: While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks By Night.

December 12

29 years ago today something wonderful happened. My beautiful daughter, Abby, was born. She has grown from a cute little tow-head:


To a beautiful adult:



I have been blessed to be parent to the most beautiful (inside and out) considerate and caring individuals I have ever met. Happy Birthday baby.

as you sleep

December 9

Saw a meme the other day -- "How did you name your blog?" So here goes

I started my first blog, 'My Empty Nest' a few years ago when my daughter was starting to talk about moving out. Although I wasn't upset at her leaving (it was time) I thought it would be nice to have an outlet to talk about experiencing empty nest syndrome and the memories leading up to that time in her life. Well, daughter moved out, life went on as usual; the empty nest was no big deal.

At some point in time while posting the occasional update to my blog, it occurred to me that the empty nest blog had taken on a life of its own, its own personality so to speak; it just wouldn't let me post what was on my mind. So, I started a new one, one without a theme, no structure, one where I could just post whatever is on my mind. Hence "BlogUnstructured."

Yeah, pretty lame isn't it!

December 6

Today is the second Sunday in Advent; the Bethlehem candle is lit.

The Bethlehem candle reminds us that Jesus was born in Bethlehem. It too is purple, reminding us that it was a King Who was born in the manger.

Song for the day: O Little Town of Bethlehem

(Many protestant churches have changed the color from purple to blue, reserving purple for Lent. I tend to be rather traditional so I still use purple candles.)

December 4

Work is kicking my butt! I got spoiled while on jury duty which, although boring at times, was pretty much no-stress. Even deliberations weren't that bad.

I wish I could retire.

December 2

Finished the trial yesterday. Found in favor of the plaintiff; awarded damages and punitive damages.

It feels somewhat odd not to be going to the courthouse tomorrow. Now have to get back into the swing of daily life. (And put up Christmas decorations.)

December 1

Back to court today. Had a glimmer of hope that we would be done yesterday, but it didn't quite happen.

Today should wrap it up.

(Side note - I'm glad I'm not being questioned for the 3-month case that is in jury selection now.)

November 30

I really want to start Christmas decorating, but my back hurts worse than it ever has. I am afraid to lift anything.

Damn

November 29

Today is the first Sunday in Advent; the Prophecy candle is lit.

The prophecy candle reminds us that Jesus' coming was prophesied hundreds of years before He was born. The candle's color is purple to represent Christ's royalty as King of Kings.

Song for the day: O Come O Come Emmanuel

(Many protestant churches have changed the color from purple to blue, reserving purple for Lent. I tend to be rather traditional so I still use purple candles.)

November 28

Watching football and gearing up for Christmas decorating.

Feeling really blah this weekend. Just don't have any ambition to get the Christmas decor out much less put it all up.

November 27

Broken Home

I overheard a conversation a while back where I heard someone say "what shame - he is from a broken home." I was a bit taken aback as I hadn't heard that term in quite a while.

Got me to thinking. What exactly is a broken home?

My husband and I divorced when our daughter was 12 years old. Is she the product of a broken home? I don't think so. In my opinion, our home was broken BEFORE the divorce; I fixed it by getting divorced. My daughter was/is much better off than she would have been if we had stayed together.

My parents never divorced, but in many ways, our home was broken. It was not particularly happy. It wasn't always broken; I remember many happy times. However, for many years my parents were married, but not happy.

Which home was broken? When I got married I fully intended to be married the rest of my life. It was not to be, however. In order to 'fix' myself and keep my daughter from 'breaking' I had to change the situation. By 'breaking' the relationship with my husband I 'fixed' our home for her.

What is a broken home?

(reposted from last year)

November 26

Happy Thanksgiving everyone

November 25

Sore throat; headache.

Not good.

November 24

Defense Rests.

Right now, the two most beautiful words in the English language.

(final summations tomorrow; deliberations start Monday.)

November 23

Claustrophobia sucks. I generally can keep control of my claustrophobia in elevators, etc. But today, the elevator at the courthouse closed, we pushed the button for the first floor, and . . . . nothing. Didn't move at all. Pushed the door open button - nothing. Finally, I had to ask one of the guys in the elevator to manually pry the doors open so I could get out. (The elevator was packed full - I was on the verge of panic.) Whew, got out of there, onto another elevator and made it out of the courthouse.

My elevator karma, apparently being at an all-time low, dictated that, of course, the elevator at the parking structure would not work!

I'm staying on the ground floor for the rest of the day.

November 22

Well, I found a new blog that gets me to thinking. (Actually, I didn't find him, he found me and posted a comment.) So, I am going to use some of the questions from his blog as fodder for mine.


1- What is one charity you support? (provide a link if possible and a reason you support that charity)

Right now, I support House for All Sinners and Saints (HFASS) with a monthly donation.

This is a new ministry,an emerging church, reaching out to those who might not feel welcome at traditional main-stream services. They are a Lutheran based (main-stream Protestant) mission focused on accepting everyone who wants to be part of a Christian community with no judgment.

I have never attended this church, have never met the mission developer, but feel very drawn to this ministry. I don't remember the actual statistics, but their membership are mostly un- or under-employed and the mission struggles to stay afloat. My home church is full of very rich people; they won't miss my paltry gift; it is much more meaningful to HFASS.

November 21

Today's agenda:

• "Unshopping" (must return some stuff to QVC)
• Pedicure (yes, I pamper myself)
• Sushi mmmm
• Football

November 20

Almost forgot to post today! Oops.

November 19

Court for a full day of testimony. Going to watch Lakers later.

eh - life is dull

November 18

Today -- laundry & rest. No court today; took a vacation day from work.

November 17

I missed it -- yesterday was my 100th post.

Not really that thrilling when you stop and figure out how long I've been blogging, but still, it should have merited some sort of recognition!

November 16

Trial is getting more fun! One lawyer is getting testy and the judge isn't taking it!

Actually got released early today.

November 15

Cooking today.

November 14

Woke up this morning and for just a moment couldn't remember what day it was or where I was supposed to be! I just want this jury case to be over so I don't have to think so much! LOL

Today's agenda: football (watching, not playing), manicure (getting, not giving) and relaxation.

November 13

Wow -- went to work today (no court on Friday)and got caught up on the gossip. A LOT of people are ill, very very ill.

It is very frightening.

November 12

Warning: This blog is going to become a journal of my daily activities. Nothing deep or interesting, just what I did today.

November 11

Hug a Veteran today. Because of them, you are free.

Thank you Dad, Grandpa, and countless others who fought for our liberties.

November 10

Yeah, the case from hell; aka the case that will never end. The 13-day case looks like it will be about 20 days before it is done.

I'm not even sure I remember how to do my job anymore!

November 9

if I deleted every blog that has a post starting with the phrase ". . . the one in which . . ." I would have to delete most of them.

Apparently that is the phrase du jour.

November 8

Darn -- Steelers are playing Monday night this week. Now watching NASCAR instead of football. Or I might switch to bull riding. Yeah -- sounds lame, I know, but can be rather entertaining on a Sunday afternoon.

November 7

OK -- personal space.

I live in an apartment complex; very little outdoor personal space to be had.

Is it too much to ask that the sidewalk between the main walkway and my front door be kept kid- and toy-free?

Signed:

Old and Cranky

November 6

I have awesome kids. Seriously. Awesome.

Well, really I only have one child, but her boyfriend is like one of my own, and they are both the greatest.

Had dinner with them tonight. He has just started a new job with a law firm, and he is soooo excited about learning not only the legal stuff, but the business end of running a law firm as well.

It is so much fun to see the enthusiasm of our youth. There is hope.

November 5

OK -- I may just have to give up. I am on a jury; cannot talk about the case at all; no references to the case, the people on the case, the lawyers, etc. So OF COURSE, all I can think to write about is what is happening in court!

November 4

Is there anything that moves slower than a glacier? Because that's what it feels like right now.

November 3

damn, I wish I could talk about this trial -- or get it over with so I can go back to work.

Sitting in a jury box all day is more tiring than actual work. I am too tired to come up with actual content for the blog.

November 2

It's too darn hot . . .

It is November for God's sake; 80 degrees? That's just wrong! No wonder people are ill.

Also, I just want this trial over with so I can go forward with my life; but it looks like it is going to go longer than originally anticipated.

This will interfere with my vacation plans.

This does not make me happy.

November 1

It's, once again, November. Every year I force myself to blog every day. Why, I'm not sure.

I am not sure if I am going to participate this year, but decided I should put up a post today just in case!

And, yes, if I do participate, I intend to title each post with the date. Makes it easier for my old, feeble, brain to keep up.

I am Sick and Tired of Political Correctness

It's frickin HALLOWEEN for crying out loud. People wear costumes. Get over it.

I seriously do not think that when a child puts on an Indian Princess costume she thinks she is trivializing a culture; she generally thinks it is a pretty costume.

No matter what somebody wears, someone else will find fault and be offended. Grow the hell up people.

Long Day

It's been a long day, and I think they will get longer! (I know, technically days are getting shorter what with it geting close to winter and all, but they seem much longer when listening to testimony.)

Civic Duty

Well, I reported for Jury duty today. I have been called many times, but never selected to sit on a jury.

Today marks the end of that streak! Not only was I selected to be a juror, it is a case that will last 13 court days -- but with 'dark' days, holidays, and furlough days, it is expected to go until November 19th. (and I am on vacation the next week!)

I am proud to serve.

Being late and feeling disrespected

I hate when people are late! HATE HATE HATE (and I seldom use that word)

I am doing a favor for a friend. He told me he would be here at 1:30 to pick me up. It is now 1:45 or so-- 15 minutes late.

I have better things to do than sit around and wait for people to show up -- especially when I am doing them a favor!

When you are late, you are disrespecting the person who is waiting for you.. I don't want to hear excuses. LEAVE EARLIER!

Last time I do a favor for this person!

edited to add: finally got here -- and told me that 20 minutes is well within the allowable range for being on-time. I disagree.

Flu Season

Off to get my flu shot (the regular one -- still undecided about H1N1)

So far, two people (out of 5) in my dept are sick.

I've Got a Secret

I have good news, but it isn't my news to tell, so I have to wait until its owner goes public!

Damn, I hate keeping secrets (but I am very good at it.)

Stay tuned . . .

Update

Time to update my blog-roll. So many of my (formerly) favorite blogs have gone dormant due to Facebook and/or Twitter.

I'll get to it later today.

Karaoke Nights

Went out last night for the first time in quite a while. A friend from NYC was in town, so we had to get together! (Don't let the fact that he is called "Indiana Steve" fool you -- he really is from NEW YORK CITY!!!

Had a really great time. I need to get out more often.

Sunday Night

Busily copying CDs to my computer so I can transfer to my iPod. I figure by the time I am done there will be a whole new technology that I will feel obligated to embrace.

While the computer is copying the CDs I am setting up my TiVO for the new season. How sad is that!

Gotta move the linky post

If I don't move the linky post from the top, Google will decide to inactivate my blog.

Football Sat. - just warming up for NFL tomorrow. And NFL is just warm up for BASKETBALL season!

Health Care Company Bucks the Trend - CNBC.com

Health Care Company Bucks the Trend - CNBC.com

Shared via AddThis

Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning

I remember it well.

It was about 6:05 a.m. in California. My clock radio went off. As I reached to hit the snooze bar, I heard the DJ say something like ". . . 2 planes . . . crashed . . . World Trade Center." In my half asleep dazed and confused mind, I thought he was saying something to the effect that in the course of history that two small planes have crashed into it at one time or another-- or something like that. As soon as I hit the snooze bar, my brain kicked into gear and I realized that he was not talking about some insignificant historical event, he was talking about something that was happening NOW.

Wide awake now, I turned on the TV. I was getting ready for work, and watching TV when the third plane crashed into the Pentagon. I'm not sure that I actually saw the plane, but certainly saw the smoke from the crash.

On my way driving into work, listening to the radio, I heard about the crash in Pennsylvania. I couldn't process what was going on. I just had this need to get to work to concentrate on my project; something concrete to focus on; something that made sense; something that had a beginning and an end; something with structure and no surprises.

The day was surreal. Radio reception in the building is poor, we can only get a couple of FM stations. Fortunately the one that I could get had suspended normal programming and was only broadcasting news of the attack. We relied heavily on the internet for our news. I remember there was confusion as to how many planes were involved. Was it 4 -- or was it 5? Nobody knew for sure. One of the IT gals subscribed to CNN news and forwarded updates as she received them.

My heart goes out to those who lost friends and family in this tragedy. To those in uniform (Police, Firefighters, military) who work day and night to keep us safe - thank you!

God Bless.

Feeling Better

Finally-- feeling better. Now I need to start actually blogging instead of complaining. (Not to mention that I spend more time on Facebook than I should which leaves even less time to blog.)

Pedicure today, time to relax!

Tired

I'm tired of being sick.

I'm tired of being depressed.

I'm tired.

It gets better (well, actually worse)

This morning, about 4:00, I woke up to violent vomiting and diarrhea. Such fun, in a hotel room. Since I was going home today, I had to get my body 'together' enough for the 1 1/2 hour drive home. Made it (with a 10-minute traffic delay) barely.

Still haven't eaten anything at all today. Afraid to leave the house for fear I will get hit with another 'attack' in a store. Called best friend who will get me some bananas, but knowing him it could be midnight before he gets here! I am now drinking a coke - just to see if anything will stay down. Probably a bad choice; tea would be better, but gotta go with what I have in the house.

No, I will not be going back to Harrah's Rincon. I think it must be food poisoning from their buffet. That along with some other things that did not particularly make me happy, lead me to the conclusion that there are other casinos in the area that deserve my business. (By the way -- VIP Service -- you guys were GREAT!)

UPDATE -- 5:15; best friend comes through with bananas and yogurt. Now we'll try eating something.

Vacation -- yeah

On vacation. So about an hour after arriving, I look at my phone to find out the time and see two new messages. This can't be good. It isn't. My sister is in the hospital, probably going to have surgery.

So now instead of relaxing, I get to worry.

Please Ignore This Post

I am only posting this because blogger will delete a blog if it is determined to be a 'link' blog. One way it determines this is if a post with links stays up too long. (Ask me how I know this . . . yeah, you're right.)

Move along; nothing to see here.

Had to share

Thanks to Two-Dolla for this one

Four Wisconsin women accused in lovers' triangle plot. Pretty much any article that says "glued his penis to his stomach" is too good to pass up! (next time he'll think before he cheats)

A headache is a terrible thing

I never used to get headaches. Now I seem to have them all the time. Can't call them migraines, but they sure do hurt.

Too much to do, so little time to do it. No time to stop and worry about a little bit of pain in the head.

Wonder Why

I just can't help but to wonder why my sister Lisa refuses to call me. I don't understand. When we do talk, she is wonderful, tells me she misses me and loves me, etc. but she seldom calls me (unless she wants something) and generally does not answer her phone when I call. She only lives about 15 miles away from me and I haven't seen her since Christmas.

I have some stuff from my dad that he wants me to give to her, and she refuses to make any specific plans to meet, and now appears to be avoiding my phone calls.

I just don't get it.

Repost from a few years ago - You Can't Have it All

That's right, gals, you can't have it all.

Back in the '70's when I was a young lady, we were told that we could have EVERYTHING -- career, family, yes WE COULD HAVE IT ALL.

Well, that is just NOT true! You can be:

1. Mom

2. Careerwoman (Please people -- I don't want to get into a debate about how stay-at-home moms work too - I do not disagree but for the purposes of this entry, I am speaking specifically about "outside- the- home- where- somebody- pays- you- to- do- a- job- not- related- to- raising- your- own- children- or- cleaning- your- own- house" career.)

3. Housekeeper

The thing is, you can't do all of these things yourself and do them well. Something has to give.

In my case, I gave up housekeeper.

I work. I have always loved working. (Also, I make more money than my ex did/does.) My daughter is actually a better person because I DID work. I love her dearly with all my heart and soul, but I simply would not have been a good 24/7 stay-at-home Mom. Also, because I have a career, I made a choice to have an only-child. I knew I would not be able to provide emotionally for more than one.

I was/am a good Mom. My daughter is now 25 years old and suffers no ill-effects due to the fact that I worked. (We have discussed this subject.) Because I was not with her all the time, when I was with her, I was able (mentally and emotionally) to focus on her and was able to enjoy the time we spent together. Which brings me to the subject of "raising an only child." This is actually a topic for another discussion which I will post at a later date. Just suffice it to say, it takes effort and planning to raise an only-child.

I was/am a lousy housekeeper. I made a choice that in order to maintain my career and devote myself to my daughter, I would have to give up having a spotless house. So, my house has lots of dust and spots on the carpet! (Oh yeah - please ignore the mildew in the bathroom -- I'll Tilex it when I get a chance.) Guess what -- the world did NOT come to an end, we did NOT all die of some mysterious "dirty house" disease. We DID go camping a lot; we went to Car/Motorcycle races; we went to baseball games; we went to watch daughter participate in sports; we were active in church activities. In short, we enjoyed being a family.

It's Friday

There is so much to say, and so little time to say it.

Therefore, the blog goes postless.

Such a shame.

NASCAR on Memorial Day

NASCAR - that was a class move. To completely stop the race and honor those who have fallen to defend our freedom is TOTALLY CLASSY! (Especially with rain in sight and the race not yet at the half-way point!) Way to get priorities straight.

Five Point Oh

Yup -- thought it was an earthquake, but wasn't sure. Called a friend who said he didn't feel anything.

No damage here; hardly felt anything. Not hearing of any major damage or injury. Hope everyone is OK.

No Better

No matter how hard I try, I just cannot seem to be happy.

Wake Up Call

Life has a way of putting things into perspective. I got an email today from my best friend (really -- best friend ever) who now lives thousands of miles away.

Ya know how I've been kvetching about being 'depressed?' Well, she wrote to tell me she had a break-down and was just out of the hospital. She was planning suicide. Yes, she had actually made concrete plans. I am so sorry I cannot be there for her. I am blessed that my problems are minor in comparison.

More Depressed

Yeah, I have nothing to say, and nobody to read it.

Still Depressed

Still feeling down; now worried about a mole on my back.

Life is kicking my ass

Lost my Debit Card

What a pain! On vacation and cannot find my debit card. I had it on Monday; went to the store yesterday and it wasn't there! (Good thing I won $120 at the casino yesterday! At least I have some cash until I get home.)

No charges on the card. Called the bank and cancelled it. Now have to wait 2 weeks for new one to appear, then another week for the PIN. This is a bit deal for me only because I never use my credit cards. Guess I'll have to dig one out of mothballs for the next couple weeks.

ugh.

I have GOT to shake this malaise

I have been on vacation for about a week now; I have much to do: closets to organize; book case to organize; spare room to sort through; filing to file. All things I really want to do. But what do I do? Sit here and wander through the internet.

I have reservations at a local resort next week (totally free courtesy of my Dad's time-share) and am actually dreading going.

Why? I don't know. I think I want to go; after all, I made the reservations. But for some reason all I want to do is sit here.

Bummer. I won't get another long vacation like this for a while; I should be enjoying it. Somebody please drag my ass out of this chair.

I Need a Vacation

Actually, I am on vacation right now. Took two whole weeks off -- all in a row!! I hope to stop thinking about work issues just any minute now!

I am staying home this week, with delusions of housework floating around my head. I did all the laundry yesterday. (Nine loads! This included stripping all bedding, mattress pads and all, bathroom rugs, decorative towels, etc.) Tomorrow I plan to work on rearranging the dining section of my kitchen. The end objective is to get rid of the treadmill that is gathering dust and taking up space. I'll let you know how that works out!

Next week I'm going to go away. Not far away, just to San Diego. I have a time-share reserved for the week, but will probably come home for a day or two in the middle of the week.

Next major life decision to make is whether to take over my Dad's timeshare in Palm Springs. I'm leaning towards yes, but still not sure. Have to question total cost before making final decision.

Today was "do nothing day" in my vacation plan, and I must say I have accomplished that goal admirably!

Frustrated

I am so frustrated these days. I know that by many standards I have it good; I have a good-paying job (just having a job is 'good' these days.) I have a delightful daughter grown and on her own and am very proud of her.

For some reason, though, I find myself annoyed at just about everything. Stupid people being at the top of the list. People who cannot articulate their thoughts and then get mad when I misunderstand them. After what would you think about this conversation?

Me: So, did you get a new computer?
Her: They put more memory in this one.
Me: Cool

I understood this to mean that she kept her old computer and had more memory added.

Conversation later that day:
Her: I am so glad they were able to give me this loaner computer.
Me: I thought they just added memory to your old one.
Her: NO -- I told you, they gave me a loaner for a year.

Sigh

Children who do not know how to behave in public places. Frustrate the hell out of me, but I reserve my anger for their parents who obviously have lost control.

Children who step on my foot then cry to their mom when I say "Hey, watch it"; not to mention their parents who somehow think I am supposed to anticipate where their stupid little feet are going to land when they jump around in a store. Better yet, kids who wander in front of my shopping cart, get run into by me, cry to their parents and I get yelled at. WATCH YOUR F****NG CHILDREN PEOPLE!!

Time to drive home -- watch out for the old lady in the grey Vue. She may not be in the best of moods this afternoon.

To the three people who may read this blog --

Sorry for the lack of posts. Having computer issues. The only one that works at the moment is the 'mini' computer which is difficult to type on. (Sorry about ending that sentence with a preposition, but the correct syntax just isn't me!)

Updates soon, I promise!

Enough about the car already

At work, looking forward to seeing inauguration news later today.

Moving Forward

• The car is definitely totalled (there was really no question.)
• Insurance is not offering what we think it is worth (of course.)
• Daughter is sore, but doing well. Worked a full day yesterday.
• She is also making plans to get another car without having to borrow any money from me.
• Not sure how that is going to work out.

Time to move ahead with 2009.

Update

Daughter -- physically OK. Aches and pains, bump on head, bruised knee, sore back, sore neck, but ok. This is all that is important.

Saw the car in person yesterday, am sure it is totalled.

Less serious items:
Phone company coming out today to check phone lines.
Replacement laptop seems to be working OK (so far)

We'll get through it.

2009 Not Starting Out So Good

(I know - poor grammar - but right now it fits!)

This weekend:

1. Friday afternoon, discover Internet doesn't work
2. Sat morning, discover phones do not work hence explaining the internet not working.
3. Sunday morning, daughter calls, in car accident. She is "ok" but in a lot of pain.
   

On the bright side, it has to get better, right?

Will update re daughter and car when have more info. Phone and internet not so important. (Posting from wifi location right now.)