To be(lieve) or not to be(lieve) - the Santa debate

I know many people feel that they are lying to their children if they perpetrate the Santa myth. The problem, in my opinion, is that as a general rule, when they tell their children the truth they also tell them that they must NOT tell the other children. Isn't this in and of itself a manner of encouraging your children to lie?

I, too, struggled with this when my daughter was a small child. I guess I took a 'chicken' way out. I didn't make a big production about whether or not he existed. I never used the "you better be good or Santa won't bring you anything" line. Every Christmas (starting when she was 2 weeks old) there were presents under the tree from Santa. No big deal was made. They were just there. We would go to the mall, and of course Santa was all over the place. Sometimes she wanted to stand in line to talk to Santa, sometimes she didn't. I let her decide. Being a Christian, we made a bigger deal out of Jesus' birthday than Santa. (She went to Lutheran schools, so our emphasis at home was consistent with what she was exposed to at school as well as church.)

When she was about 3 years old, she told me that all those Santas at the mall couldn't be real, they were just men in Santa suits. (I remember exactly where we were when she asked -- getting off the escalator at Sears.) Of course, I agreed. The next year when she turned four, she asked me if Santa was real. I replied that it is really fun to believe in the magic of Santa Claus and the joy that he brings (blah blah blah.) A few weeks later she said to me "Mother, I have asked you several times if Santa is real, and you don't answer me." So that was my cue to talk about how Santa as a flesh-and-blood being doesn't exist, but the spirit of Santa lives in our society.

Did I do the right thing? Well, she has never been angry at me for lying to her. (Actually, I don't know anybody in real life that was angry at their parents for 'making' them believe.) And to this day, 28 years later, presents from Santa are in her stocking every Christmas morning.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.